Why You Shouldn't Ask For My Phone Number When I'm Inebriated

Topher: Hahahaha retard you gave this girl Courtney my number instead of yours.

Me:Whaaaaaaaat????? Oh shit!

Topher:Yeah this girl is asking me all these questions and I'm thinking 'I hope you're not trying to get info to kill me'....And she says 'I don't understand. My friend Britt gave me this number' and then it clicked so I pretended like I was psychic.

Me:HAHAHA, omg! Did you tell her you were my brother?

Topher:Only after I asked her if her friend lived in San Pedro, was 5'2", had blonde hair and blue eyes, and was always around a guy named Mykel.

Me:HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Topher:Right.