Oh, hello there! 

You’ve clicked on my “About” page! 

I’m curious about your intentions there, buddy.

Did you go out with me? Are you sleeping with someone who went out with me? Did I RT you on Twitter? Are you an Internet predator? Have you read my more serious work on security technology? Are you an entertainment guru who is going to make me famous? Are you here to file a restraining order on behalf of one of my family members? Do you hate me? Do you love me? 

…Sorry, sorry. Sometimes I get a little carried away.

Well. What was the point I was trying to make? Oh yeah. This is a page. It’s about me. And stuff.

By day, I’m a professional writer. By night, I’m that weird girl who sits in the corner of the bar and makes inappropriate jokes about cancer (I can totally make cancer jokes, because, like, my father has cancer. It’s totally cool, man.)

I have a degree in Asian Studies (which has been, like, great for my career) and a Girl Scout Gold Award (also super helpful in the real world). 

I’m the offspring of my father’s third — or fourth — wife. He’s currently married to a step family therapist (true story) who doesn’t speak to me (because I’m awful). I’d talk to a therapist about this, but…you know.

Once, while in Vietnam, I thought I had gangrene. But it turned out to be the normal kind of douse-it-in-iodine-type infection.

Celery is gross. But deep fried chicken anus makes a pretty decent bar snack.

I like cats.

Is that enough information for you?!

You’re welcome.

Hugs & Skittles,