I didn’t know it was possible to fail jury duty. But I totally did, yo! Like, an automated voice came on the line and said: “You. FAIL.”
This might have something to do with the fact that I had absolutely no clue that the stupid automated system kept track of who calls in. I thought I was totally dodging a bullet – I kept calling in the day of, and the little robot voice continuously told me that I did not have to report for service.
That all changed, last night. I actually called in on time (during the hours of 7 to midnight) and the automated voice thing told me that I had failed to call in everyday, and therefore my jury service would be rescheduled.
What the fuck?! But I didn’t even have to report yet! Couldn’t they just get mad at me if I didn’t show up? Now the fact that I got distracted by booze on a weeknight (as is my right; I sit in a cubicle-like thing all day) means that I am going to have to do this stupid shit all over again?!
How many times can you fail in this way before they get really mad and start fining you and shit?
Does this mean they’ll put a red check next to my name and I’ll have to report next time?
Actually, this is a good thing. As I am tremendously bored at work these days, it might be nice to have jury duty. What would be really cool is if I end up on the jury of a murder trial. I’d go all Twelve Angry Men on someone’s ass.
But, seriously now. I’ve had 3 or 4 jury summons over the course of my life, and I’m only 22. What the hell? Is someone picking on me?? Last time, all I did was sit in a room for a million hours and read Water for Elephants like it was my job. Totally finished that shit in, like, one day!
Well, anyway, since I don’t have jury duty, I’ll have to think of something else to do today (besides writing about how I fail at jury duty). Suggestions?